Brett Chidester - Stolen Angel

Salvia and "Depersonalization"

2012-01-31T18:47:00.000-08:00

I just saw this quote from a salvia user and it made me think this is what Brett must have gone thru, unbeknowst to all of us. This has to be one of the scariest as well as saddest things I've ever read when it comes to salvia. Why would you use something that sends you to the brink of insanity, with no clear proof that you'll ever make it back alive? Kids, as Brett did, think they're invincible, untouchable and nothing evil can happen to them. If this were only true.

"There is a thread in the Salvia Divinorum section which discusses many accounts and explanations of users who have experienced long-lasting depersonalization/derealization after the use of Salvia. I have been going through these feelings for the past few weeks now, believing that I am well on my way into schizophrenic insanity. "

I just keep coming back to the same question - WHY is this drug legal when people write that it makes them feel like this? Is no one caring, watching, reading what our young people are writing?

Brett's 6th Angel Anniversary

2012-01-23T17:35:00.000-08:00

Today mark 6 years since Brett became an angel, leaving us here to wish we had more time with him. I will be eternally grateful for the 17 wonderful years I was able to spend with him. I guess I should say 16.5 years were wonderful and the months that he got hooked on salvia, those were not so wonderful. Even at his worst he was still so funny, smart and oh-so-hard not to love. His girlfriend told me just last week that he was the most caring, kind and loving boyfriend she ever had, still, 6 years later. I wish the best for Lauren and hope that someday she can meet someone exactly like Brett. We know that's not possible but there has to be someone for her that come close to Brett's goodness and kindness. He would want that for her. As she reminded me (not that she needed to) he watches over us still and keeps up safe, every single day. As much as I want for him to be here with us I gain strength knowing he's my family's guardian angel, looking out for us every moment. Sweet angel Brett, peace and love to you this day and always.

Brett's 23rd Birthday

2011-09-09T17:53:00.000-07:00

Brett would have been 23 day today. Last weekend we had what I called a "Brett Fest". We watched some of his home movies he made over the years, from about age 11 until his death. I came away with so many wonderful thoughts of Brett - his amazing sense of humor and just straight up no holds barred love of life and a good laugh. I have never, ever known a kid who had more crazy fun in his life than Brett. I just laughed and laughed right along with him. You couldn't helped but be touched by his total lack of pretense and sheer unadulterated happiness. It was contagious and it comes through so clearly in all his videos.
He just amazed me at how life was always a glass totally full for him. I always felt he was so lucky and I used to kid him and tell him "Brett you're what I want to be when I grow up...smart, good looking and popular." He had all those attributes and more.

And after watching him having such a blast with all his friends and cousins I just had this crystal clear moment of truth that swept over me. It was just an overwhelming sense of total affirmation of what I believed all along - he did not take his life, salvia did. It stopped him dead in his tracks and brought his happy, fun filled life to a screeching halt. He was railroaded by a drug that he was powerless to stop.

We so wish you were here with us sweet, sweet Brett on your birthday, and every day.

Brett

2011-09-09T17:52:00.001-07:00

Iowa bans K2, bath salts, SALVIA

2011-08-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

A huge thank you to Mike Rozga for having his state legislators include salvia in the legislation that passed this week. Salvia is now iillegal in Iowa thanks to Mike. He lost his son, David, exactly as I did Brett - drug related suicide. I was so impressed with Mike and what he was able to achieve in such a short amount of time and he gave me many excellent ideas on how to move salvia regulation forward nationwide. Thank you Mike. I hope Brett and David are looking down and feeling a wonderful sense of pride for their parents, just as we did for them during their all too short time here on earth. Rest in peace David.

Pennsylvania Governor Corbett signs Salvia Bill

2011-07-05T18:05:00.000-07:00

June 23, 2011 - Salvia is finally regulated in PA. When I first started my fight to outlaw salvia my initial goal was to have it banned in the surrounding tristate area. My thought was that Brett's friends, who smoked it with him, wouldn't be able to cross state lines to purchase it. In my mind I fervently hoped that maybe, somehow, I could save them when I could no longer save my own son.

5 years later and here I am, still working towards that goal. I'll never give up especially when I hear, just recently, how Brett's best friend, and frequent salvia user, is in the words of Brett's cousin "a total waste". A guy, just like Brett, with such intelligence, enthusiasm, and potential, all gone, because of his drug use. I thought he would have learned something from Brett's death. I still remember just 3 days after Brett died, asking him please, please, please to give up salvia, to think how it had taken away his best friend, a guy who loved life and living every day. Brett would be devastated to know what happened to his best buddy Mike. 2 lives lost, one forever and one, with help and a good dose of common sense, that may be recoverable. We can only hope.

NY Senate Passes Bill To Ban Salvia Divinorum

2011-03-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Senator John Flanagan for listening to Brett's story.

5 Years an Angel

2011-01-23T09:36:00.000-08:00

Today marks the 5th anniversary of Brett's passing, 5 years an angel, looking down, protecting and guiding us. I heard a quote last week that really reminded me of how we, as Brett's family, feel on many days - "we feel his presence more than his absence." Certainly not every day, as the missing and yearning to see him will never go away, but his strong presence and sense of self, is still very much with us, some days more than others. Our entire family could write a book on the psychic/paranormal activity that we have experienced since his death. Brett had the most beautiful, clear sense of being. You knew he was in a room without his making a sound. His presence was always that profound. He was a boy that could say volumes without saying a word. That trait of his, one that I loved more than anything, has not changed since his passing. His strength has allowed him, even from the other side, to make us aware he is still present. Best of all his incredible, uplifting sense of humor still shines thru whenever we experience his "shenanigans" (as he would call them).

We love you Brett. You are still our shining light. May that never end.

New Link between Salvia and the Arizona Tragedy

2011-01-16T16:22:00.000-08:00

More proof of what I know to be true of Salvia - it can cause mind altering psychosis. I really believe Salvia can "flip the switch" in a young person's brain and it can do it in a heartbeat. Brett's dad and I both know, as well as the rest of our family and Brett's girlfriend, that this switch flipped in Brett's brain in the matter of 24 hours. Even though he was one of the strongest, most together boy/men I have ever known he never had a chance against salvia. None.

Salvia and the Arizona Shooting
A friend says that Jared Loughner used the hallucinogen salvia. Could the drug have affected his brain?
Charlie Neuman / San Diego Union Tribune-ZUMA Press
A Salvia divinorum plant, photographed in the lab of a researcher.
Alleged Arizona shooter Jared Loughner used salvia, the hallucinogenic drug, according to a high-school friend of his. Obviously, Loughner was troubled. But did salvia have anything to do with it?
Currently, there’s very little scientific information about the drug’s effects—thanks, in part, to salvia’s relative safety. “So far the federal government has not funded any studies, because it’s not seen as relevant until someone dies of an overdose,” says Dr. John Mendelson, a pharmacologist at the California Pacific Medical Center Research Institute. “The only reported injuries are idiot injuries: people drop the apparatus they were using, fall of their chair, that type of thing.”
Salvia is still legal in a majority of states, and millions of Americans have used the drug without incident. That includes pop star Miley Cyrus, who was caught on video last year smoking salvia from a bong. (Anecdotal evidence indicates that sales spiked as a result.)
What little research that has been done shows that all strains of Salvia divinorum, a plant grown for centuries in Mexico, produces a chemical called Salvionon A. This chemical affects the kappa opioid receptor, a part of the brain that’s in large part responsible for our perceptions of reality.
In an unmodified state, salvia—whether it’s smoked, chewed, or swallowed in extract form—produces an intense high, lasting less than half an hour. “It’s one of the most behaviorally impairing drugs that we’ve come across,” says Dr. Matthew Johnson, assistant professor of psychology at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. “At the higher doses, people are completely dissociated from this reality . . . They describe being completely transported to another dimension.”
Typically, those who use salvia are not able to do much, says Johnson. The limited intoxication period of the drug, combined with its impairing effects on mobility, make it unlikely that Loughner used it at the time of the shooting.
There is, however, at least one reported case of salvia leading to a mental breakdown. “We had a case of a male who came in, 23 years old, and was actively psychotic,” says Dr. Peter Przekop, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the Loma Linda University School of Medicine in California. “The only thing we could attach it to was the night before, he had smoked the XXX [high-strength] salvia. We stabilized him, put him on medication, transferred him to the psych department. When we tried to gradually wean him off antipsychotics, the symptoms returned. This was permanent psychosis we suspect was brought on by this drug.”
Przekop, who published a letter detailing his case in the American Journal of Psychology, hypothesizes that the patient had a predisposition for mental illness brought on by salvia use. Meanwhile, a mother in Delaware claims that her son’s suicide was triggered by his use of the drug. (She successfully fought to make it illegal in that state.)
The effect salvia had, if any, on Loughner’s mental state is thus far impossible to ascertain. In describing his tenuous connection with reality, one friend told The New York Times, “he would ask me constantly, ‘Do you see that blue tree over there?’ He would admit to seeing the sky as orange and the grass as blue.” While that sounds like the ramblings of someone on a powerful trip, it’s not consistent with the salvia experience.
Unlike LSD or mushrooms, salvia’s high “doesn’t have the bright colors, noises, agitation, and anxiety [of other hallucinogens],” says Mendelson, who jokingly refers to it as an “Old Testament” drug. Users describe becoming objects—turning into the chair they’re sitting on, or being absorbed into the fabric of the couch. “It’s possible that people would report color changes, but it’s not common,” says Johnson.
Johnson suggests that the novelty of the drug has led to unnecessary media attention. “Alcohol can have horrible, horrible interactions with mental illness, but it doesn’t sound so scary because we all know people who drink,” he says, noting that there’s no evidence to prove that salvia can have negative effects on those with psychological problems. “People have a need to explain these things, but I’d advise caution in leading people to grasp on something that’s probably not there,” he says. “The big factor is this guy was probably very mentally ill.”

Christmas Day without Brett

2010-12-25T06:13:00.000-08:00

Brett's favorite day of the year, by far, was Christmas. As you can see from his pictures he couldn't have been happier. As I looked through our many photo albums I was struck by the same thing over and over again-you will not find a picture of Brett where he wasn't smiling. The kid just loved life. He loved his family and friends fiercely and thought every day should "bring a new adventure", which was kind of our motto. Of course we all know his later "adventures" in life led to his demise. 5 years later and Christmas is no easier for any of us. And again salvia is all over the news due to Miley Cyrus' video of her smoking a bong of salvia. Brett's name is showing up everywhere on the internet, which actually I am thankful for. I have led a quiet fight these last couple of years but I never give up. This brings salvia and it's dangers to the forefront again, somewhere it definitely needs to be. I read more stories that I was unaware of. The most poignant one was the girl who smoked it and she woke up in the hospital. She had jumped from a 3rd story building and had no memory of it. Her jaw was fractured and she had lost most of her teeth. It was a devastating picture and it agains brings to light the fact that salvia needs to be regulated.
And for those that are following the Miley story please be aware that salvia is ILLEGAL in CA for those under 21. I worked long and hard with Assemblyman Adams in CA to get this law passed. I took the time to fly to Sacramento to testify, to show Brett's pictures, to tell his life story of achievements, and to make sure everyone knew that, without any doubt at all, that salvia caused Brett's death.
Please remember Brett on this Christmas Day and keep him always in your loving prayers as we do. Peace to all and to my sweet angel up above.

Christmas Pics that Brett Loved

2010-12-25T06:09:00.000-08:00

Canada Bans Salvia

2010-10-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

About time! Maybe if they had regulated Salvia 5 years ago Brett would not have started experimenting with salvia that he purchased from Canada.

Also, Nevada legislators need to get listen to their constituents in their state. They have a serious Salvia problem there if I'm to believe the telephone call that Brett's dad received this past Thursday night. A concerned father of an 8th grade student called from Nevada inquiring how he could get "Brett's Law" passed in his state. According to the story he told there have been, over the last 2 weeks, 11 attempted suicides and 4 deaths related to salvia usage. If this is true my heart goes out to these parents. Losing a child for the most wrong of reasons is something they will never, ever get over. We can learn to accept death by illness or accident but death by a legal drug will haunt those of us who have lost our loved ones forever.

Brett Would be 22 Today

2010-09-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

Brett would have been 22 today. His birthday was always full of much celebration and "shenanigans". Never a dull moment when Brett was around. His family and friends miss his incredible sense of humor, and none more than me. Love you Brett.

And to make a sad day even sadder this awful salvia related story just came in:

Teen high on salvia injured in fall over cliff
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
By Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
A 17-year-old boy who said he was high on drugs tumbled over a cliff in an O'Hara park this afternoon and suffered a head injury, a county dispatch supervisor said.

The boy called 911 at 3:35 p.m. to report he had fallen over a cliff at Meadow Park and told the call taker that he was on salvia, a potent hallucinogen that's legal in Pennsylvania.

He suffered a head laceration and was taken to Allegheny General Hospital.

New Minn. state law bans hallucinogenic drug

2010-08-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

Another one for the books. I believe we're up to state number 23!! Brett is smiling today!

Another Salvia Suicide Attempt

2010-07-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

An advocate for Salvia regulation sent me this story below from Colorado. Sadly it mirrors Brett's own experience very closely. The huge difference is this boys' life was saved while Bretts' was not. My heart goes out to this mom and I think how very fortunate she is to be able to hold and hug her son today.

This story is another example of salvias' ability to cause complete psychosis in a single use. Why does the DEA continue to allow this to be legal??? Almost 5 years after Bretts' death they are still studying it??? I alerted the DEA within a week of Brett's death because I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it had caused his death. So, here we are, 5 years later and they continue to "study". My guess is they aren't doing anything at all about it and saying they are "studying" it is an easy escape route from taking any kind of action. Can anyone tell me exactly what this agency spends its' time doing???

Here is the story from Colorado:

A warning tonight from a Southern Colorado mother about an herbal supplement that many teens are now smoking to get high. It's completely legal and as strong as LSD. Some say this herb is not just dangerous, it's deadly.

There are dozens of disturbing videos on You Tube showing teens getting high on Salvia. When smoked it causes powerful hallucinations. The drug seems to take effect almost immediately, causing the user to lose control.

"I had never seen him quite like that," said a Southern Colorado mom who only wants to be identified at Michelle. She says her 17 year-old son smoked Salvia. "He said that he doesn't want to smoke pot and this was alternative for him so he doesn't smoke pot," said Michelle.

One day later she says her son tried to kill himself. "He went to the bridge and he was going to jump." She says it happened on the bridge on Highway 24 outside of Peyton.

Authorities were able to pull him to safety. "He had one leg over and one leg on the otherside and then he swung his other leg over and he was leaning out over nothing," Michelle said.

He was taken to a treatment facility in Colorado Springs and the staff watched him closely for 72 hours. "Afterwards, he didn't even remember anything that had happened," Michelle said.

A terrifying experience for Michelle and her son and this isn't the first time something like this has happened...

The story continues to Brett's story and how Brett's Law was passed in Delaware 3 months after his death.

Alabama Passes Salvia Regulation

2010-06-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

I received a very heartening letter from the Alabama's Governor office to inform me that the Governor had signed into law their own version of "Bretts' Law".

I've lost tract but I believe we are up to 22 states now that have passed some type of salvia regulation. It still amazes me that it's taken 4 years to get this far but we're almost half way and have no intention of stopping. I thank God every day for all the supporters I hear from daily who always affirm how important this fight is.

And to Anna A. I know the anniversary of your husband's death from salvia is coming up soon. I will never forget your tragic story and how salvia destroyed the wonderful life you knew with your dear husband. I hope for you that healing and acceptance will be yours some day.

4th Anniversary of Brett's Passing-Gone, but Never, Ever Forgotten

2010-01-23T11:32:00.000-08:00

Today Brett has been gone from our lives for 4 years. It is still uncomprehensible to us all. His spirit still shines and we are often made aware that he is still with us, if only in that spiritual realm. The light and love that was Brett can somehow still be felt. He will never be gone from our lives, his memory lives on forever.

I know he would be proud of the progress I've made in having the drug that caused him to lose his life regulated across the nation. I am most proud of my work in California, and most recently Ocean City, MD. OC is the first town to go outside of state law and form their own law outlawing salvia. The council members there were very courageous as they weren't sure if what they were doing was actually legal, and whether it would end up being a complete waste of time. Fortunately they were correct in going forward, salvia is now banned in OC and I'll no longer be receiving phone calls from angry parents asking me what they can do to get it out of the boardwalk stores.

And, on this 4th anniversary of Brett's passing, I would like to address something that has bothered me for these four years. When Brett passed away I immediately joined a suicide support group. I had no experience of any kind with suicide or mental illness. There had been nothing like this in either side of the family so I was consumed with finding out how it could be possible. How could a boy who was at the pinnacle of happiness take his own life? I knew, beyond a doubt, it was his salvia use, but I still wanted to reach out to others who had experienced this and some how learn more. One thing that was drummed into me from day 1 that was you must be suffering from depression to commit suicide. I always had a problem with this because there were absolutely NO signs of depression in Brett. I knew this and all his friends confirmed it, including the love of his life, Lauren. Even so, I was told over and over again, he had to be depressed, no question about it. So, without much thought, I told everyone he had to be depressed, even though I had subsequently learned the signs of depression and he exhibited none of those. That one statement was to haunt me for all the years to come and has been reported all over the internet and in the media. So, I will come clean, and say with no hesitation now:

BRETT DID NOT SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION.

I know he would want people to know the truth, as I do. I left the support group fairly quickly afterwards as I soon realized Brett's case had absolutely zero in common with what these other unfortunate people had experienced. Two mothers who had lost their sons admitted to me that they first saw signs of mental illness and depression in their child as early as eight years old!! They fought for years to maintain a normal, healthy lifestyle. I had none of this. I can say with all honesty that Brett was the absolute best son ever, and his only shortcoming was being completely fearless and way too inquisitive. He had no fear of salvia and wasn't in least concerned of the long range effects. Those effects would cause his life.

Several months ago I received the article (see below) that put everything I knew and felt about what happened to Brett in perspective. I always knew on his last day he had to be experiencing complete and total psychosis after smoking salvia for the last time. This article confirms the severity of salvia and it's devastating, life altering effects. If only Brett had been able to read this, he may still be here today. RIP sweet, dear Brett.

PERSISTENT PSYCHOSIS ASSOCIATED WITH SALVIA DIVINORUM USE

TO THE EDITOR: We present a case in which salvia precipitated persistent psychosis.
“Mr. J” was a 21-year-old man with no family or personal
psychiatric history or laboratory abnormalities. He
was reported to have normal social interactions, behavior,
and cognitive skills. He was transferred to our psychiatric
unit for acute psychosis and paranoia, which occurred
shortly after smoking salvia. In transport, the patient became
suspicious and attempted to jump from the vehicle.
Upon presentation, he demonstrated echolalia, paranoia,
flight of ideas, and psychomotor agitation. The patient remained
agitated for the first 2 days of hospitalization. He
attempted to barricade himself in his room. Risperidone
(3 mg by mouth/three times per day) was administered,
and the patient was eventually stabilized. The dosage,
however, resulted in the parkisonian features of rigidity,
bradykinesia, and masked facies.
Mr. J was transferred to the chemical dependency unit
for further treatment. He was stabilized, and treatment
with risperidone was slowly tapered. During the taper
from risperidone, the patient continued to improve and
manifested better insight and logical thought processes.
He participated in group therapy and interacted with
peers, and the parkinsonian features subsided. One day
after risperidone was withdrawn, the patient’s symptoms
abruptly returned. He became agitated, paranoid, and aggressive
and believed he was able to project and receive
thoughts. He returned to the inpatient psychiatry unit
where risperidone (3 mg by mouth/twice daily) was reinstated.
He was once again stabilized and transferred to
the referring psychiatric facility for further treatment. At
the 4-month follow-up, the patient exhibited no perceptible
improvement.
To the best of our knowledge, this is the first reported case
of a persistent negative outcome from the use of salvia. We
suspect that our patient was genetically predisposed to
schizophrenia, and salvia precipitated the clinical manifestations.
This may relate to the drug’s ability to influence dopamine
levels in the brain and potentiate plastic changes in
frontal lobe networks (3).
Previous studies have cited salvia as a potential treatment
option for CNS illnesses (2). This is surprising, considering the
paucity of research regarding its efficacy. Salvia’s ability to increase
dopamine levels in the nucleus accumbens increases
its potential for dependence. Consistently, patients at our
clinic who have used the drug report that its psychological effects
are abrupt and frightening. Clinicians should be aware
that salvia use can be associated with psychiatric illness.
References
1. Prisinzano T: Psychopharmacology of the hallucinogenic sage
Salvia divinorum. Life Sci 2005; 78:527–531
2. Grudmann O, Phipps SM, Zadezensky I, Butterweck V: Salvia divinorum
and salvinorin A: an update on pharmacology and
analytical methodology. Planta Med 2007; 10:1039–1046
3. Braida D, Limonta V, Capurro V, Fadda P, Fadda P, Rubino T,
Mascia P, Zani A, Gori E, Fratta W, Parolaro D, Sala M: Involvement
of kappa-opioid and endocannabinoid system on salvia
A-induced reward. J Biol Psychiatry 2008; 3:286–292
PETER PRZEKOP, D.O., PH.D.
TIMOTHY LEE, M.D
Loma Linda, Calif.
The authors report no competing interests.
This letter

This Thanksgiving Day

2008-11-27T10:57:00.000-08:00

Just as I was thinking of my sweet boy this morning, and wishing he were here for one of his favorite holidays, I get this email sent to me. It is wonderous how these things work, but then, as we all know, Brett was always a wonder. He could always amaze, amuse, and bring out major adoration in me. I adore him still. As the saying goes to those who knew him no explanation is necessary, and to those who didn't no explanation is possible. No words could possibly express the sheer sweetness and love that was Brett.

EVERLASTING THANKS(GIVINGS)

1.Thank you for giving me life, for making my favorite foods, for washing my clothes and doing your best to be sure I was safe. Although I no longer need you to do these things, the love behind the actions lighted my way to the other side.

2.Thank you for your prayers and the thoughts you send my way. They lift my spirit (literally) and propel me to the place where only love dwells.

3.Thank you for your anger at the ways I failed, disappointed or betrayed you. I'm closer to you than you think and have heard your words. They remind me that I didn't live up to who I could be and call me to be more kind, honest, loyal and loving from now on.

4.Thank you for forgiving me for all the ways I couldn't love you, others or myself. I may have left you with feelings of being abandoned. Your effort to heal yourself helps to heal entire family line including grandfathers and fathers who have gone before as well as the children and grandchildren who come after.

5.Thank you for calling in the angels. Or, if I left without sharing a few last moments with you, thank you for understanding that my body could no longer hold my spirit which was ready to fly.

6.Thank you for continuing to express my life. Celebrating my accomplishments with scholarships and foundations, telling stories about me (even if not all of them are true) reminds the world that my life had meaning.

7.Thank you for taking care of my stuff, especially if by leaving abruptly there were no instructions to follow. Thank you for tying up the loose ends left dangling when I moved into my new life.

8.Thank you for honoring our love bond - - by wearing the jewelry I've given you, by keeping my photos with or near you, but, most of all, by living your life to the fullest.

9.Thank you for laughing while remembering our good times together. Your laughter creates the music in heaven.

10.Thank you for celebrating birthdays, anniversaries and Thanksgivings and by remembering all the gifts of our life together.

May the thanks of those you love, touch you as you remember them this Thanksgiving.

2008-10-08T12:56:00.000-07:00

Another beautiful, but sad, quote forwarded to me:

"As God's children, we live on promises, not explanations. When we arrive in heaven, we will hear the explanations, accept them, and say, 'May the Lord be glorified." (Warren Wiersbe).

We, as Brett's family and friends, live every day of the promise of being with Brett again and knowing the true story behind his death. We feel we have the real explanation, due to all that we have learned of this terrible drug. We have accepted this explanation as best we can. I have a deep conviction within my heart that tells me to just believe, not to question what I feel, 100% to be true. When I question what I feel, somewhere, somehow, something will come along to put me in my place, to stop questioning and to just simply BELIEVE my heart. Yesterday I received this:

Pharmacologist and substance misuse researcher Fabrizio Schifano of St George's Medical School in London says that the main problem with psychoactive substances - and hallucinogens like salvia in particular - is that they may incite PSYCHOSIS. "How do you know if someone will have a sensitivity to the drug?" he says. "I am really worried by the prevalence of these drugs, and the fact that most users get their information from the internet. It is not peer-reviewed research, just people's opinions, and that is very dangerous."
Tim Kendall, deputy director of the Royal College of Psychiatrists research unit, says: "When you take salvia you are playing with fire. People can be very damaged in terms of their personal functioning. They frequently have flashbacks that intrude into their life, which can be almost like a post-traumatic stress problem after very bad experiences."
It's still unclear why salvia produces hallucinations. "Some of the experiences people have on salvia may be similar to the psychosis that occurs in late-stage Alzheimer's," says Roth. "There is an increase in the number of kappa receptors in the brains of people with late-stage Alzheimer's."

So, again, validation of what we believe wholeheartedly, Brett suffered severe psychosis within a matter of hours. This psychosis ended with his death. Terrible tragedy....those words don't even begin to describe his loss. There are no words.

09/09/88 - That's Brett's B'day

2008-09-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

Yikes, I wrote in my blog today and said today was Brett's birthday. Of course you know I meant yesterday!!! Could you see the internet meanies getting a hold of that!?!? I'd become the mom who didn't even remember her kid's birthday!

I'm remembering all the wonderful birthdays past, so excuse me while I reminiesce on happier times. If Brett were here we'd talk about all those awesome b'days past like:

-The birthday where I made you the giant racetrack cake and put only 4 cars on the track and 15 kids absolutely, positively had to have the piece with a car!! That cake was certainly incredible, if I do say so myself. Must post a picture of it.

-The birthday where we got out the pogo stick and the kids were amazed that you had a mom who could pogo stick longer than any of them.

-The Chuck E. Cheese parties were we could never get any of the kids back to the table to eat. Alexis freaking out when Chuck E. came to the table!

-The clown who refused to leave you alone at Chi-Chi's. You were ready to get up and walk out. I love the picture I have of you giving him the "stink eye".

-The place with the rubber ball pit where you were convinced "some kid pee'd in there!"

-Your rollerskating, paintballing, McDonald's, bowling parties. Did I miss one?

-The party where every kid "had to bring" his sister/brother/cousin and we ended up with 30 kids running roughshod over the house and yard. That one was the best! You LOVED the presents.

-Your last birthday where I promised you your second trip to England to visit your relatives. I did deliver and that was our last trip together. What number trip did that make, I'm guessing between 55-60? You were one well traveled guy, that's for sure. You were my best travel partner ever, and no trip will ever be the same now you're gone.

I look back fondly on all the wonderful b'day parties I was able to give Brett. They were the best of times and Brett never met a b'day party he didn't love.

-

Brett's 20th Birthday

2008-09-10T10:21:00.000-07:00

Today would have been Brett's 20th birthday. All I could think was how much I would have loved to have seen what he would have looked like at 20. He was so handsome at 17 I can't imagine what 20 would have brought. The whole family visited the grave and put flowers and almost balloons. The balloons somehow escaped out the car window thru a 2 inch opening in the window! No one could figure that one out but everybody said the same thing "That's Brett doing that! That is SO him, laughing his tail off at his balloons taking off even before we got to the cemetary." It was so bittersweet and made me realize, as I do every single day, how much we all miss Brett's off the charts sense of humor. Why can't anyone else be at funny as he was???

And, again, I am forced to defend him in the press. A huge story on Salvia appeared in the NY Times yesterday. I actually spoke to the reporter who wrote the story and provided him with much insight before the actual publication. He got everything right except for the fact, which I thought I had impressed upon him, that when Brett's Law was written Dennis and I specifically asked for a clause to be added allowing for scientific research to be allowed with salvia, especially if there's the slightest chance it could help some disease or disability. Senator Peterson called me yesterday and we discussed this and she said people are so unaware, that even if we hadn't included that clause specifically, laws already on the books allow any drug to be used for research. You DON'T even need to add that stipulation. Wonder why people can't get that? It's really not that hard of a concept to grasp. Of course the salvia users are the ones posting the emails full of outrage about scientific research being stymied. Get real, folks, we are on to you and know that you're not interested in the slightest about helping others, you're too busy getting wasted.

I love the quote someone sent me the other day:

"Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth.

Ephesians 6:14 NLT

The belt of truth

"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free," says Jesus (John 8:32). But what will the truth set us free from?

First of all, it sets us free from the snares of deception. When people know the truth, they can't be taken in by a lie. You can't convince people to believe in something that they know in their hearts and minds is false.

The truth will also set you free from guilt and shame. When you've held tightly to the truth, you don't have to worry about a lie coming back to haunt you. You don't spend your nights lying awake wondering what words of deception might trap and ensnare you. You are free to live with a clean conscience and an innocent heart."

I had just said to someone the other day "I'm so glad that from Day 1 I told the truth about Brett, the months leading up to his death, the things we found about Salvia, etc. I really believe if you tell the truth you NEVER have to remember what you said." If you check out ALL the many, many, many news reports and articles I've done you will see the details never change. I never have to think about what I said before. It's so easy when you're truthful. So, I guess without knowing it I have put on "the sturdy belt of truth." Brett would love that.

RIP Officer Gary Gryder

2008-07-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

One of my friends forwarded this very sad, sad news article to me

Houston cop killer gets mental evaluation

Officer Down: Officer Gary Gryder

By Brian Rogers
The Houston Chronicle

HOUSTON — A man accused of killing one Houston police officer and injuring another in a car wreck will be drug tested and evaluated by mental health professionals to investigate his behavior in the minutes after the incident.

Hung Dasian Truong, 24, will be held for a 21-day mental evaluation, a judge ruled Tuesday. Initial alcohol and drug tests got negative results, but investigators are awaiting the results of a second, more detailed round of blood tests to determine whether Truong was impaired at the time of the incident early Sunday morning.

Truong was taken into custody while laughing uncontrollably and refusing to answer questions, Harris County Assistant District Attorney Denise Bradley said.

According to court records, investigators suspect that Truong may have been under the influence of salvia divinorum.

Salvia is an herb-based hallucinogen used spiritually by Mazatec Indians from the Oaxaca area, and increasingly popular among teens and college-age students, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

In state District Judge Caprice Cosper's court, Bradley recounted the

Remember this....

2008-06-01T15:32:00.000-07:00

It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.
Moliere

I first heard this quote immediately after Brett's death and it made me realize that we had no choice but to go forward with our campaign against Salvia Divinorum. If we did not do anything what kind of parents would we be? What would our son think if he were here and we did not take up the cause against the thing that took his life? I could not face Brett today if I did not do that which I was accountable for... making his death stand for something. Brett did not die in vain, he led us to discovery of something most of us would never know.

Also, this quote makes me think of Brett and all the volunteer work he did. That has become the main focus of my life since his passing. Before his death he was my main focus, with service and volunteer work being a close second. Today, without his being here, it has become my number one goal. To serve others is to gain peace for myself. Yesterday I wheeled patients around for 3 hours and today I wrote a letter asking for a grant for a woman who has no money to buy the most simple things in life, bread, milk,... What are you accountable for today?

Father's Day

2008-05-30T12:19:00.000-07:00

After being bombarded by Father's Day ads, which I mindfully ignore after losing my wonderful dad so many years ago to cancer, I thought of this picture of Brett and his father. This is my favorite picture of Brett and his dad. Those two could NOT have loved each other more. This was taken by one of Dennis' goofball fishing buddies, hence Brett's "not so enthusiastic" smile. I remember him telling me that XXX had taken his picture outside of church on Easter morning and he was none too happy about it. Regardless, I'm glad he did as I look at this picture often and remember all the happy times these two fun loving guys had together.

So I will remember on Father's Day that not only did I lose the most important person in my life but Dennis has as well. We will never be the same, the happy go lucky threesome that we were, all the way until Brett's death.

SALVIA REGULATED IN VIRGINIA JULY 1, 2008

2008-05-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

I just received an email from a reporter in Washington, DC who informed me that my work in Virginia has paid off and that Salvia will be regulated July 1. She said "Way to go Kathy!!" but I say "Way to go, State of Virginia!!"

Now I wonder when the rest of the country is going to wake up and be as proactive as the states that have learned of Brett's story. More importantly when is the FDA and DEA going to get on the bandwagon and do what they should have long ago? If they had been doing their jobs 2 years ago maybe Brett would still be here today.

APRIL 29 - FIRST SALVIA LAW PASSES IN CA

2008-05-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the hard work of Assemblyman Adams of CA the first Salvia bill, AB259 passed today in Sacramento. (Talk about a strange coincidence - the bill is the EXACT same number as our HB259, "Brett's Law" in DE!) This was a huge undertaking for him as CA is the most liberal state in the country and is much more concerned with the overcrowding of their prison system than putting a law on the books that will protect their young children and teenagers. Regardless he was able to have this bill pass the state Assembly and go on to the Senate. I was very proud to be a part of it and am grateful to him for bringing me out to California to tell the real story of Brett's demise due to Salvia. It was also wonderful to meet Dr. Samuels from Wonderland Treatment Center in LA in person and to see how passionate he is about the threat of this drug to our country. He makes me look tame!

Also, many thanks to Elizabeth, Assemblyman Adam's aide and to all the reporters, way too many to mention, who interviewed me and realized how important this story really is. I also learned, for the first time, that the initial study of Salvia on humans has just been completed and its' findings are that salvia causes depression. No surprise there as I've known that since Brett's death. Even though we didn't see it he obviously had to be suffering from it. It is such a tribute to my son's sheer strength of will that he was able to keep everything together in his last days and no one, not even his girlfriend with whom he was inseparable, knew that he was suffering so badly from his salvia use that he was contemplating taking his own life. Brett really was a warrior, who accomplished every thing he set his mind to, and even though we know he wanted nothing more than to LIVE a happy life together with Lauren, he was no match for this drug.

I really felt his presence as I spoke before the CA Senate. I could almost hear him saying "Go Mom, go!" I knew he was smiling down on me and felt his strength become mine. Brett, you are amazing, in heaven, just as you were on earth. Love you so much sweetie.

Danielle, the heroine!

2008-03-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

Danielle, Brett's cousin, one of his closest friends, and the one he confided in about his extensive Salvia use, made her first TV appearance yesterday and told the real story of Brett's life. I wish I could have been there Danielle, but you did a most incredible job. You brought Brett to life for all the thousands of people who watched you so eloquently tell his story. Daniellius, as Brett called you, he would would be SO proud of you!! You faced the 3 idiotic users with such grace and conviction. I could never have been as composed as you. You did the Chidester family proud. We love you and know that Brett is looking down cheering you on for telling what really happened in his last days.

And thank you to Dr. Howard Samuels of Wonderland Treatment Center in LA who finally told the world what I've known since the minute Brett died. SALVIA KILLS!

"Remaining at Courage"

2008-02-14T12:25:00.000-08:00

I just finished a phone call with a reporter from a Sacramento, CA newspaper and thought, for the millionth time, how incredibly hard it is to recount the story of Brett's death over and over again. How do you do justice to such a promising life unfinished? How do I explain Brett's charm, his wit, his quiet confidence, his unfailing steadfastness in all he believed? Talk about an impossible task.

A friend sent me this quote today and it really hit home:
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
Eleanor Roosevelt.

I have definitely stared fear in the face and lived to tell the tale since Brett died. I have never been so fearful, in my entire life, as I was getting up to speak in front of our state senate. I will remember that horrible, horrible feeling the rest of my days. Knowing I had to keep it together to convey, without question, the story of my most incredible son's life. Nothing has been harder, and I've faced some tough challenges. I know more are to come, but I'm feel some days as if I'm made of steel and I can't be defeated. Tougher and stronger than I ever imagined. I always knew I possessed those qualities, in spades, but this whole Salvia debacle and losing Brett has proven that to me beyond a shadow of a doubt.

January 23, 2008 - 2 Years Gone

2008-01-29T11:20:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been two years since I've seen my sweet boy's face. Some days it feels like forever, some day it seems like just yesterday. I console myself with the fact that the last memory I have of us together, the very last minute, was the two of us standing in the dining room, hugging, and me telling him how much I loved him, and he telling me the same. If I had to write my last moment with Brett I guess I couldn't top how it actually occurred. So, for that, I am eternally grateful. I think of all the parents, one of whom I know, who left their kids off at school, or a friend's house, or wherever, and they've had a fight and many angry words have been exchanged. What parent doesn't know that scenario. They leave in silence or one slams the door or one of them finishes with one parting shot at the other. How horrible that must be, and it's something that can never be taken back or changed. So, I thank the Lord every day, that my last memory of Brett is such a wonderful one. He knew at that last moment, as he did his entire life, that his mom loved him with every ounce of her being. Without him being here, that's really my lasting comfort.

MORE SALVIA NEWS: Thanks I hope in part to my efforts, 2 more states (California and Virginia) have begun the process of regulating Salvia in their states. Both asked me for a letter about Brett's life, what he was like and how Salvia changed him. They loved the letter and it was read before their legislature, as I couldn't be there to do it personally. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to fly wherever and whenever I was needed but that's just not a possibility. I think it is so important to put a name and face to this tragedy, but it's just not feasible to be able to do that each time a bill comes up for vote.

Below is info on the VA bill: (California's passed unanimously out of the House and will now go to the Senate. It's a very watered down version of "Brett's Law" but in such a liberal state as California just getting a bill as such on the records is an achievement. )

A bill to ban salvia divinorum unanimously passed in the Virginia House of Delegates this week, bringing the currently legal drug one step closer to strict regulation.
Salvia is a powerful hallucinogen - some say as strong as LSD. It's the subject of thousands of YouTube.com videos showing bong-smoking teens "tripping" on the substance.
A species of the mint family, salvia can be legally purchased over the Internet or from specialty shops. The dried leaves are available in various degrees of potency, and people smoke them for a high that can last a few minutes or up to half an hour.
Delegate John O'Bannon, (R-Henrico), who is also a neurosurgeon, introduced the bill to outlaw salvia after receiving suggestions from law enforcement officials.
"It's really not a pleasant thing to take. It can cause bad trips, dysphoria and sweats," O'Bannon said. Dysphoria is a general feeling of physical discomfort, anxiety and discontent.
On Tuesday, delegates voted 98-0 in favor of O'Bannon's legislation, House Bill 21. The bill will now go on to the Virginia Senate for consideration. It has been referred to the Senate Committee on Education and Health.
According to the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency, salvia causes hallucinations, a perception of overlapping realities and a loss of body, dizziness and impaired speech.
The plant, which is native to the province of Oaxaca in Mexico, is not regulated on the federal level, but at least seven states have salvia laws on the books. For centuries, the Mazatec Indians of southern Mexico have used salvia in shamanistic rituals.
More recently, salvia has proliferated on the Internet and at college-area paraphernalia shops.
"I think the Internet has actually driven this. I think the Internet is one of the reasons why it's actually spread out of the local indigenous areas in Mexico, where it's been around forever," said O'Bannon.
His bill would make salvia a Schedule I hallucinogen. This would place the substance in the same class of penalties as LSD, PCP, Ecstasy and cannabis.
O'Bannon said salvia potentially has harmful effects, citing the suicide of Brett Chidester, a Delaware teenager whose parents blame salvia for their son's suicide. Delaware has since banned the substance.

Salvia Divinorum Appears in Teen Drug Treatment

2007-12-19T11:21:00.000-08:00

This was just forwarded to me from a treatment center in CA. THIS IS HUGE!!! This is what I feared/suspected would happen all along. I can't say I'm surprised and, unfortunately, Brett may have been become one of these kids if Salvia hadn't taken him down long before now. How very sad this all is. Why is our country and the DEA so slow to react to these things?? Why can't we be more proactive instead of so reactive. Does another family have to lose their child before we wake up??

Friday, December 14, 2007

Salvia Divinorum Appears in Teen Drug Treatment
The use of Salvia Divinorum by teens entering teen drug treatment centers is becoming more common. Salvia Divinorum is a potent hallucinogen. Its effects on teen drug abusers have been compared to LSD. Salvia is a member of the sage family, and is a powerful psychoactive drug. Salvia can be chewed but is most commonly smoked as it produces a stronger effect. When smoked its effects last from five to ten minutes. "This shorter high is attractive to a teen that is trying to get high between classes or while in their bedroom..." Says a teen drug treatment client. This is a much shorter time span than other hallucinogens, but the effect has been described as having the same intensity. The effects of salvia range from a mild sense of wellbeing to a full on psychedelic trip that can cause a complete disconnection between the user and reality.The surprising fact about Salvia is that it is one hundred percent legal in every country except Australia. (NOT TRUE!) This includes all US states. (AGAIN, NO TRUE. ) Because Salvia is legal it is commonly sold in cigar shops, all natural stores, and over the Internet. Salvia is also fairly cheap.This makes Salvia extremely accessible to teenagers. Teenagers are able to walk into the smoke shop and purchase this strong psychedelic drug with no imposing consequences. Because of these factors Salvia is extremely appealing to teens that cannot legally buy alcohol or do drugs.While it is impossible to overdose on Salvia there are still many dangers involved in using the drug. Most teenagers smoke Salvia with marijuana making the act illegal. Salvia has also been known to cause depression post use. This was most highly publicized in the case of Brett Chidester, a 17-year-old student from Delaware, who reportedly killed himself after using Salvia. Although these risks do exist there has been no legislation passed to make Salvia illegal. (NOT TRUE). This makes a dangerous drug available to teenagers everywhere. It is expected that the cases of young people entering teen drug treatment will rise as long as this drug is so readily available to them.
Labels: salvia, salvia divinorum, teen-drug-treatment, teenagers
posted by Visions Adolescent Treatment Center @ 6:39 AM

Happier Christmas Times - Sadly Missed

2007-12-18T13:16:00.000-08:00

"Goofy Brett' as he labeled this pic.

2007-12-18T12:54:00.000-08:00

I found this picture on Brett's camera after he had passed on, along with tons of him and Lauren. No surprise there. This is again, just SO Brett, goofing. I love it. It always gives me a smile, no matter how down I am. Then I think "He'll be gone less than a month after he took this." Jan. 23, 2006 will forever be etched in my memory.

THIS CHRISTMAS THINK OF OTHERS

2007-12-18T12:01:00.000-08:00

I know Brett would wish for everyone to take care of someone less fortunate this season. He believed so much in helping others. He never wanted his buddies to see that side of him but I saw it all the time. Shortly after he passed away I found this essay he wrote when he was 13. I don't remember it but it brought me to tears when I found it. It makes me so proud, even now, that he was so proud of me. I knew he loved me but to see this in writing, especially the last line "I'm just so glad I'm related to her." just blows me away every time I read it.
ONE THING I WILL SAY TO PARENTS EVERYWHERE: This essay shows that your children do watch exactly what you do, they do notice what you do for less fortunate, they do compare you to others. Will you come up short or will your child compare you to the Good Samaritan? Remember this, when you're complaining about not having enough time, when you're running here and there, pushing your kid's onto soccer, ballet, swim team, worrying about your next outfit, your next 4WD gas guzzler, your Starbucks $8 cup of coffee, some little boy or girl may be following your lead.
Here's my sweet Brett's essay in it's entirety:

"Although I know many people who resemble the Good Samaritan, I think my mother is the best of them all. She has helped so many people that it would be impossible to count them all. They range from every race, religion, or cultural background you could think of. Since it would be impossible to list all of her good deeds, I will list the ones that I think had the greatest influence on my life.

The greatest thing she has done lately is volunteering to teach cooking classes at a halfway house called Sojourners' Place. When I saw the looks on the peoples faces there after she had taught them how to cook, I could tell they were very grateful for the time she had taken to be with them. Last Christmas, she bought toys for the orphans at Our Lady of Grace home. The children were extremely happy when they saw their new gifts. She also regularly helps out and donates food, clothes and toys to the Ronald McDonald House. The Ronald McDonald House is a place where people can live while their children are being operated on at A.I DuPont Hospital. Another one of her many good deeds is volunteering at the Emmanuel Dining Room where she serves lunch to the homeless. Also, there is man in our neighborhood who is very elderly and uses a walker to get around. Since he uses a walker, it takes about 2 hours to go 1 mile. Whenever my mom sees him walking, she will always pick him up, no matter what her schedule or how late we are. He appreciates it so much. The deeds I have just listed are good deeds my mom does for less fortunate people.

Some other deeds she does are for people who are as fortunate as we are, but they just need some extra help. She has been a volunteer for the historic Chalfonte Hotel, built in 1874, in Cape May, NJ for over 20 years! She has stenciled over 50 rooms, free of charge. She spends 2 weekends a year donating her time to make the hotel a better place to visit. One of the most important things she has done is being an officer for the Wilmington Ski Club for over 7 years. Without pay, she runs ski trips out west and to Europe. She also does all the club's accounting. She always tells me that this was A LOT of work. She was a committee member for a 5K walk and she has also helped in the March of Dimes walk-a-thon 4 different years.

When my mom volunteers or helps out, I usually go with her. She thinks it is very important that I see how lucky I am. I watch the peoples' faces while she's helping them and after she has helped. Whether it's poor, homeless, or rich people, they always look extremely happy and grateful. I can never count how many times I hear "Thank you!" Whenever I see the people thanking her I get a feeling of happiness. I can tell they really like her and wish she would come back again. She usually does help them again, she doesn't know how to say no to people who need her help. My mom works full time and has 2 little part time jobs but she always finds the time to volunteer. In conclusion, I think my mom is the greatest person and she is the most like the Good Samaritan of all the people I know. And I'm just so glad I'm related to her.

Brett Chidester
8B

... and his teacher wrote "Grade :A You have something to be proud of to have such a giving parent!"

Brett's Thanksgiving Wish "NO TURKEY ON YOUR TABLE!"

2007-11-20T12:48:00.001-08:00

Brett became a vegetarian about a year before his death. The most carnivorious kid on the planet, one who could devour a million baby back ribs in one sitting, became a vegan pretty much overnite. All it took was the infamous "KFC video" sent to him by a friend to do it. He always wanted me to watch it but being a huge animal lover, as he was, I couldn't bring myself to do it. He assured me that anyone who watched it would never eat meat again.

Brett wasn't big on causes (as I am) but this is one that totally hit his heart. He never wavered and he never did eat meat again.

As Thanksgiving is upon us, and his place will sit empty at our family's table, I think he would love for me to tell everyone to watch this video, boycott KFC as we both did (and I still do), and think of the animals who suffer for us daily.

Another thought to ponder

2007-11-20T12:36:00.000-08:00

Since Brett has passed away I've had many unbelievable experiences. Too many to write about here but they have made me believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is watching over me, sending his love, and leading me on. I get led to some many different places, for no reason, and will find something that makes me wonder . Today I got a random email that led me to this quote:

"In each time you and I have decided where we will meet and in what circumstances we will bring opportunities for one another to have those beautiful growth experiences. We are truly what those in your realm consider to be soulmates. Two souls of very similar vibration—a frequency at which we both have a color and a sound that are similar. I wish to say to you that I am proud and happy at the many steps you have made forward in this incarnation. There are many things you have proven and many energies you have brought forth. I have stepped beside you. And at times I have been in front, encouraging you during those times you considered to be the darkest. Yes, my energy is familiar to you. I wish for you to remember, dear one, the beauty of your soul, the incredible light that can come into your heart. It is difficult to be that shining light when most around you desire only darkness. It is the true healer, the true sage, who remains sage amongst those who are not awake. Take heart and remain at courage.”

Where do these thoughts come from? Who knows but they certainly make me pause and think.

HOW COOL IS THIS?

2007-11-14T10:45:00.000-08:00

Brett was a whiz w/ Photoshop. Here's a self portrait he did of himself using it. I just think it's the coolest thing. People have said it reminds them of a CD cover. If Brett had of kept up with his drumming he could have probably cut an album some day. He was an excellent drummer and I never got tired of listening to him. Most parents hate the idea of drums but not me. One of my favorite things when he was younger (all the way thru grade 8) was to go watch him perform in the band concerts at school. I remember his band teacher telling me he was a "little prodigy". She said "You give Brett a sheet of music and BAM, he's done, got it all right, while the other kids are still trying to figure out where to start." Later he auditioned for the State Honors Band and made it! No surprise there. Whatever Brett set his mind to, he made it happen. No prodding from Mom or Dad to do something. He was the most self motivated kid ever. I always wondered how I got so lucky. I now wonder how I could be so unlucky to have lost him at such a young age, and for no good reason. I tell myself every single day that the 17 years he was here with us were the most incredible years of my life. I am so grateful and thankful that I could be with him for that short time.

Brett's Favorite Holiday (after Christmas, of course!

2007-10-22T12:01:00.000-07:00

Brett LOVED Halloween. He used to tell me it was his favorite holiday after Christmas. Here he is w/ cousin Alexis on his 2nd Halloween. He was a rabbit and he loved the costume I made for him except we both were a little upset we couldn't get the ears to stand up! I used to make all his costumes as I love to sew and he loved to wear them. Each year they got more elaborate until he got to be 8 or so and all he ever wanted to be was a ghost. So, it was the old, white sheet route after that. The absolute best times I've had were taking him trick or treating with his cousins.

Some Common Misconceptions

2007-10-13T14:55:00.000-07:00

Brett's Dad and I have been asked several times about things that people who didn't know Brett have written on the internet. So, for the record, are some answers:
1. Brett did NOT keep a journal. He was too busy, and probably a bit too "macho" for that. He would definitely have thought that a little too effeminate for a real man to do. He did write random notes here and there, mostly in his Scheduler for school. Many of the notes were about Salvia. A ridiculous amount actually. He was a straight A student so I never had to check any of his work or ask him what he had for homework. Now I wish I had a reason to have looked in that Scheduler. All those references to Salvia definitely would have set off a red alarm for me.

2. Brett was NOT an alcoholic, wasn't on Prozac, wasn't on Accutane, didn't do other drugs. I know he had tried pot a few times but I believed that was normal for a senior in HS. I wasn't happy about it at all, but it really is a right of passage. I feel Salvia is far more dangerous than pot will ever be. Also, Brett was drug tested where he worked part time, as part of his employment requirements. He had 2 drug tests in 6 mos. and they were negative for all drugs. He was employed there when he died. His posthumous drug test showed no drugs, which isn't surprising since Salvia metabolizes within 15 mins. Thanks to Brett's posthumous drug sample, our medical examiner is the first in the country to develop a drug test for Salvia.

3. Brett was never treated for depression. He was actually never treated for anything. He was as healthy as a horse, since the day he was born! A few years in school he almost made perfect attendance because he was just never sick. Our whole family is like that, both his dad's and mine. And, no, there is no history of depression on either side of his family. And, no, he wasn't upset because he came from a divorced family. Actually he quite enjoyed it. He used to tell me how lucky he was, that he had 2 houses, 2 Christmas', 2 Easter's, 2 birthday's, and that he was an only child and that he liked getting all our attention. People were always amazed that the 3 of us would vacation together at the beach a couple of times each summer. Even tho Dennis and I were divorced we had a great relationship and it showed. We were meant to be friends and it worked out pretty wonderful for all of us. Brett was loved beyond belief and he knew it. That's the part that makes me happy every day, that Brett knew how much we loved him and worshiped the ground he walked on. He wrote about our love for him, and his love for us, in his last note to us. I will cherish it always.

More Great Pix of Brett

2007-10-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

I love this pic of Brett. How handsome he was, with a beautiful heart, that came shining thru. He was so good looking, yet so humble. I remember saying to him one time, "How does it feel when I drop you off at school and all the kids come running, yelling "Brett's here, Brett's here!" He said "It feels pretty darn good!" Here he is teasing cousin Danielle in the phone booth in England. Poor girl, just trying to make a phone call home to mom and he's tap, tap, tapping on the booth the whole time and getting a huge kick out of it. I see this picture and I always think the same thing "That is SO Brett!" And, of course, I was as bad as he was. I always laughed at his jokes and egged him on. I thought he was hilarious. I miss his wonderul, quirky, right on sense of humor. I will never laugh like that again, ever.
Here's Danielle and Brett waiting for the plane. Danielle is the real heroine of the whole Salvia story. Without her coming to her mom and telling her that Brett was smoking Salvia we would never have been able to piece the story of his death together. I guess we would have figured it out eventually, with all his Salvia notes, and the many times we found Salvia and the police finding Salvia near him when he died. But she sped up the process and allowed me to have a dialog with Brett and what he felt about Salvia. I will always regret that I gave Brett too much credit for being so levelheaded and mature. I thought he would know enough to stop this garbage that would eventually lead to his downfall. When someone never makes you doubt them for a second, why would you start? When they came home every day, sober and together, why would you think something had taken ahold of them? This drug is so insidious. He is the first to be identified with it, but I'm sure he's probably not really the first, and definitely won't be the last. We were just lucky, we were able to put the puzzle pieces together. How many other families didn't have the information we did.

Brett's favorite place to be - LONDON

2007-10-10T14:20:00.000-07:00

This was Brett's final trip abroad. His favorite cousin, Danielle accompanied us to visit his other English cousins. We had an incredible time and I was so glad the hounding by Brett and Danielle was finally over. No more "Please, please, please take us to England!" Never in my wildest dreams, or should I say nightmares, would I believe that my boy would be gone just 7 mos. later. Soon after this is when I got the call telling me he was smoking Salvia. Only 7 mos. to take one of the strongest people I've ever met down. Unfathomable to me.

Brett called this "Looking toward the future"

2007-10-10T14:17:00.000-07:00

2007-10-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

To Salvia Users

2007-10-10T13:59:00.000-07:00

Just in case you're inclined-don't bother posting comments. I won't read them!! This blog is for those who loved and knew Brett, not the "posers" as Brett would call you, the ones who never had any contact with him or the ones who say "Oh, yeah, I worked with him, or I went to school with him, or I saw him walking down the street one day, etc, etc." Brett was so straight up, so darn forthright, so "tell it like it is". He'd hate the lies that have been written by him. Don't post anymore here. This blog is about TRUTH.

True Tales - The Life of Brett Chidester

2007-10-10T13:27:00.000-07:00

Much has been made of the death of my beloved son, Brett Michael Chidester. I thought it about time that the world learn about his life. His real life, not the life that people who have never met him have invented on the internet. I made a pact with myself, after his sensationalized death, that I would try very hard never to read any of the postings on the net about him. I've been pretty darn good about it, but over time I've had well meaning friends ask me or tell me about certain things they've read. I don't stress over it because Brett's family, his friends and schoolmates, my friends, his dad's friends, knew the real Brett and knew what he was about. He was an inquisitive, fun loving, devoted son who made every day an adventure. The words "I'm bored" never emanated from his mouth, ever. He had the ability to turn the most mundane task into an adventure. His crazy sense of humor, his guileless wit, his love of laughter and life, will never, ever be forgotten by any of us. His was, and always will be, unforgettable.

This is my first blog, and believe me, Brett would be proud. He always tried to get me to come into the 21st century, kicking and screaming. So, this one's for you, Brett. I'm not a writer but I hope I can do you proud, my sweet, "stolen angel", taken from us who loved you much too early.

My hope and desire is to provide a place with pictures and videos of Brett, my recollections of his life and death, some of his writings, and for all to come to know the young man that touched and changed our lives irrevocably.