one single day...

...shall not erase the memory of you.

"There never was a time when you or I did not exist. Nor will there be any future when we shall cease to be."

These quotes, written anonymously, remind me that Brett's existence here will never be forgotten. He will live in our hearts and minds forever.

I am eternally grateful that Brett and his story have touched so many lives in a positive way. I still hear from people that his story continues to save lives 9 years after his death. Although remarkably intelligent and quick witted, Brett was also extremely humble. I know he would be completely blown away to have had such an effect on so many people all around  the world. The reason for his all too short existence on this earth has been proven by the legacy he has left behind. 

Thinking of my sweet,sweet boy (something I always called him) on his 9th angel anniversary. Soar with the angels, Brett, and never forgot those you have left behind.

Brett's 26th B'day

Wishing Brett a happy b'day up in heaven.  Hope he's having the same kind of awesome birthdays he had here on earth!! No kid loved a big old birthday party more than Brett! Never a year passed where I didn't put together some bowling, Chucky Cheeser, scavenger hunt, piñata laden party for him. The most difficult part was "uninviting" the dozen of friends he would invite each year!! There wasn't a kid in his school who didn't love Brett and want to be at his parties. (It also didn't hurt that his mom was an award winning baker, know for ever increasingly tough birthday cakes per his request!!)
Enjoy this little pic of one of his favorite parties with his favorite person in the world, his "pretend sister", cousin Alexis. Love you guys both so much.

Sorry for the typos - Who changed Blogger? It's the worst!!

8th Angel Anniversary

Today Brett is 8 years an angel. I find that statement a little strange as I write it because I deeply felt that Brett was pretty much an angel the entire time I knew him. He light up my life, made me a better person, shared his love of life with everyone, did good works, cared for the poor and the ill, search for the good in all things...isn't that the definition of an angel? I think so. I know no better description of what an angel is than that description of Brett. He had all the best traits that you could ever ask for in a person. As I've said before he was what I would have liked to be when I grew up, good looking, smart and popular and with a heart as big as the universe.

In these 8 years I have grown to acknowledge and accept that Brett was not mine to keep. He was here for a reason much bigger than my needs. His reason for being was fulfilled and that was to save others from the danger of salvia. He had to leave in a most unexpected way but that was part of the heavenly plan. Mine is not to question why. I have great comfort in knowing that I packed his short life with what would be a whole lifetime of experiences. I don't know many teens who have been all over the world, hosteling all over the country, drove a 66 Mustang (if only for a short time!! I wasn't brave enough to give him my baby entirely!), played a vintage guitar and drum set, wore the coolest clothes, and just totally experienced every new moment as if it were his last. Brett knew how to live! I'm just so happy that I was here for the ride. My amazing boy, the best son ever, I miss you every single moment of the day.

Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince;


And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. ”

Today Would Have Been Brett's 25th Birthday

If only he were here to celebrate...

It seems as if each year something wonderful happens around Brett's birthday. This year I had a chance encounter with one of Brett's best friends who I haven't seen since his funeral. I will never forget what he told me when we ran into each other. He said "I can tell you, 150%, that Brett made me the man I am today. I am such a better person for having known him and being able to be a part of his life. There will never be another Brett." How lucky Brett was to have such wonderful friends.

And another milestone on the war against salvia - this week Texas outlawed salvia.  A long time coming and hopefully my communications with state legislators there made a difference. As Brett looks down on us on his 25th b'day he knows that I'll never give up this fight. One day salvia will be regulated nationwide. I have all the time in the world to make it so. I wish Brett did as well.

Brett's 7th Angel Anniversary

Seven years ago today Brett became an angel. Not the earthly angel that we knew him to be but a heavenly one meant to watch over and protect us.
I really felt his presence yesterday as I visited his school, then Gibraltar, his favorite place to volunteer, and fhen finally his gravesite. It was a difficult day but a necessary part of telling his story for a new expose on salvia. This is one that I feel  has a lot of potential to shed more light on this insidious drug. I never cease to be amazed that all these years later this drug is still legal.

Salvia and "Depersonalization"

I just saw this quote from a salvia user and it made me think this is what Brett must have gone thru, unbeknowst to all of us. This has to be one of the scariest as well as saddest things I've ever read when it comes to salvia. Why would you use something that sends you to the brink of insanity, with no clear proof that you'll ever make it back alive? Kids, as Brett did, think they're invincible, untouchable and nothing evil can happen to them. If this were only true.

"There is a thread in the Salvia Divinorum section which discusses many accounts and explanations of users who have experienced long-lasting depersonalization/derealization after the use of Salvia. I have been going through these feelings for the past few weeks now, believing that I am well on my way into schizophrenic insanity. "

I just keep coming back to the same question - WHY is this drug legal when people write that it makes them feel like this? Is no one caring, watching, reading what our young people are writing?

Brett's 6th Angel Anniversary

Today mark 6 years since Brett became an angel, leaving us here to wish we had more time with him. I will be eternally grateful for the 17 wonderful years I was able to spend with him. I guess I should say 16.5 years were wonderful and the months that he got hooked on salvia, those were not so wonderful. Even at his worst he was still so funny, smart and oh-so-hard not to love. His girlfriend told me just last week that he was the most caring, kind and loving boyfriend she ever had, still, 6 years later. I wish the best for Lauren and hope that someday she can meet someone exactly like Brett. We know that's not possible but there has to be someone for her that come close to Brett's goodness and kindness. He would want that for her. As she reminded me (not that she needed to) he watches over us still and keeps up safe, every single day. As much as I want for him to be here with us I gain strength knowing he's my family's guardian angel, looking out for us every moment. Sweet angel Brett, peace and love to you this day and always.

Brett's 23rd Birthday

Brett would have been 23 day today. Last weekend we had what I called a "Brett Fest". We watched some of his home movies he made over the years, from about age 11 until his death. I came away with so many wonderful thoughts of Brett - his amazing sense of humor and just straight up no holds barred love of life and a good laugh. I have never, ever known a kid who had more crazy fun in his life than Brett. I just laughed and laughed right along with him. You couldn't helped but be touched by his total lack of pretense and sheer unadulterated happiness. It was contagious and it comes through so clearly in all his videos.
He just amazed me at how life was always a glass totally full for him. I always felt he was so lucky and I used to kid him and tell him "Brett you're what I want to be when I grow up...smart, good looking and popular." He had all those attributes and more.

And after watching him having such a blast with all his friends and cousins I just had this crystal clear moment of truth that swept over me. It was just an overwhelming sense of total affirmation of what I believed all along - he did not take his life, salvia did. It stopped him dead in his tracks and brought his happy, fun filled life to a screeching halt. He was railroaded by a drug that he was powerless to stop.

We so wish you were here with us sweet, sweet Brett on your birthday, and every day.

Brett

Iowa bans K2, bath salts, SALVIA

A huge thank you to Mike Rozga for having his state legislators include salvia in the legislation that passed this week. Salvia is now iillegal in Iowa thanks to Mike. He lost his son, David, exactly as I did Brett - drug related suicide. I was so impressed with Mike and what he was able to achieve in such a short amount of time and he gave me many excellent ideas on how to move salvia regulation forward nationwide. Thank you Mike. I hope Brett and David are looking down and feeling a wonderful sense of pride for their parents, just as we did for them during their all too short time here on earth. Rest in peace David.

Pennsylvania Governor Corbett signs Salvia Bill

June 23, 2011 - Salvia is finally regulated in PA. When I first started my fight to outlaw salvia my initial goal was to have it banned in the surrounding tristate area. My thought was that Brett's friends, who smoked it with him, wouldn't be able to cross state lines to purchase it. In my mind I fervently hoped that maybe, somehow, I could save them when I could no longer save my own son.

5 years later and here I am, still working towards that goal. I'll never give up especially when I hear, just recently, how Brett's best friend, and frequent salvia user, is in the words of Brett's cousin "a total waste". A guy, just like Brett, with such intelligence, enthusiasm, and potential, all gone, because of his drug use. I thought he would have learned something from Brett's death. I still remember just 3 days after Brett died, asking him please, please, please to give up salvia, to think how it had taken away his best friend, a guy who loved life and living every day. Brett would be devastated to know what happened to his best buddy Mike. 2 lives lost, one forever and one, with help and a good dose of common sense, that may be recoverable. We can only hope.

NY Senate Passes Bill To Ban Salvia Divinorum

Thanks to Senator John Flanagan for listening to Brett's story.

5 Years an Angel

Today marks the 5th anniversary of Brett's passing, 5 years an angel, looking down, protecting and guiding us. I heard a quote last week that really reminded me of how we, as Brett's family, feel on many days - "we feel his presence more than his absence." Certainly not every day, as the missing and yearning to see him will never go away, but his strong presence and sense of self, is still very much with us, some days more than others. Our entire family could write a book on the psychic/paranormal activity that we have experienced since his death. Brett had the most beautiful, clear sense of being. You knew he was in a room without his making a sound. His presence was always that profound. He was a boy that could say volumes without saying a word. That trait of his, one that I loved more than anything, has not changed since his passing. His strength has allowed him, even from the other side, to make us aware he is still present. Best of all his incredible, uplifting sense of humor still shines thru whenever we experience his "shenanigans" (as he would call them).

We love you Brett. You are still our shining light. May that never end.

New Link between Salvia and the Arizona Tragedy

More proof of what I know to be true of Salvia - it can cause mind altering psychosis. I really believe Salvia can "flip the switch" in a young person's brain and it can do it in a heartbeat. Brett's dad and I both know, as well as the rest of our family and Brett's girlfriend, that this switch flipped in Brett's brain in the matter of 24 hours. Even though he was one of the strongest, most together boy/men I have ever known he never had a chance against salvia. None.

Salvia and the Arizona Shooting
A friend says that Jared Loughner used the hallucinogen salvia. Could the drug have affected his brain?
Charlie Neuman / San Diego Union Tribune-ZUMA Press
A Salvia divinorum plant, photographed in the lab of a researcher.
Alleged Arizona shooter Jared Loughner used salvia, the hallucinogenic drug, according to a high-school friend of his. Obviously, Loughner was troubled. But did salvia have anything to do with it?
Currently, there’s very little scientific information about the drug’s effects—thanks, in part, to salvia’s relative safety. “So far the federal government has not funded any studies, because it’s not seen as relevant until someone dies of an overdose,” says Dr. John Mendelson, a pharmacologist at the California Pacific Medical Center Research Institute. “The only reported injuries are idiot injuries: people drop the apparatus they were using, fall of their chair, that type of thing.”
Salvia is still legal in a majority of states, and millions of Americans have used the drug without incident. That includes pop star Miley Cyrus, who was caught on video last year smoking salvia from a bong. (Anecdotal evidence indicates that sales spiked as a result.)
What little research that has been done shows that all strains of Salvia divinorum, a plant grown for centuries in Mexico, produces a chemical called Salvionon A. This chemical affects the kappa opioid receptor, a part of the brain that’s in large part responsible for our perceptions of reality.
In an unmodified state, salvia—whether it’s smoked, chewed, or swallowed in extract form—produces an intense high, lasting less than half an hour. “It’s one of the most behaviorally impairing drugs that we’ve come across,” says Dr. Matthew Johnson, assistant professor of psychology at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. “At the higher doses, people are completely dissociated from this reality . . . They describe being completely transported to another dimension.”
Typically, those who use salvia are not able to do much, says Johnson. The limited intoxication period of the drug, combined with its impairing effects on mobility, make it unlikely that Loughner used it at the time of the shooting.
There is, however, at least one reported case of salvia leading to a mental breakdown. “We had a case of a male who came in, 23 years old, and was actively psychotic,” says Dr. Peter Przekop, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the Loma Linda University School of Medicine in California. “The only thing we could attach it to was the night before, he had smoked the XXX [high-strength] salvia. We stabilized him, put him on medication, transferred him to the psych department. When we tried to gradually wean him off antipsychotics, the symptoms returned. This was permanent psychosis we suspect was brought on by this drug.”
Przekop, who published a letter detailing his case in the American Journal of Psychology, hypothesizes that the patient had a predisposition for mental illness brought on by salvia use. Meanwhile, a mother in Delaware claims that her son’s suicide was triggered by his use of the drug. (She successfully fought to make it illegal in that state.)
The effect salvia had, if any, on Loughner’s mental state is thus far impossible to ascertain. In describing his tenuous connection with reality, one friend told The New York Times, “he would ask me constantly, ‘Do you see that blue tree over there?’ He would admit to seeing the sky as orange and the grass as blue.” While that sounds like the ramblings of someone on a powerful trip, it’s not consistent with the salvia experience.
Unlike LSD or mushrooms, salvia’s high “doesn’t have the bright colors, noises, agitation, and anxiety [of other hallucinogens],” says Mendelson, who jokingly refers to it as an “Old Testament” drug. Users describe becoming objects—turning into the chair they’re sitting on, or being absorbed into the fabric of the couch. “It’s possible that people would report color changes, but it’s not common,” says Johnson.
Johnson suggests that the novelty of the drug has led to unnecessary media attention. “Alcohol can have horrible, horrible interactions with mental illness, but it doesn’t sound so scary because we all know people who drink,” he says, noting that there’s no evidence to prove that salvia can have negative effects on those with psychological problems. “People have a need to explain these things, but I’d advise caution in leading people to grasp on something that’s probably not there,” he says. “The big factor is this guy was probably very mentally ill.”

Christmas Day without Brett

Brett's favorite day of the year, by far, was Christmas. As you can see from his pictures he couldn't have been happier. As I looked through our many photo albums I was struck by the same thing over and over again-you will not find a picture of Brett where he wasn't smiling. The kid just loved life. He loved his family and friends fiercely and thought every day should "bring a new adventure", which was kind of our motto. Of course we all know his later "adventures" in life led to his demise. 5 years later and Christmas is no easier for any of us. And again salvia is all over the news due to Miley Cyrus' video of her smoking a bong of salvia. Brett's name is showing up everywhere on the internet, which actually I am thankful for. I have led a quiet fight these last couple of years but I never give up. This brings salvia and it's dangers to the forefront again, somewhere it definitely needs to be. I read more stories that I was unaware of. The most poignant one was the girl who smoked it and she woke up in the hospital. She had jumped from a 3rd story building and had no memory of it. Her jaw was fractured and she had lost most of her teeth. It was a devastating picture and it agains brings to light the fact that salvia needs to be regulated.
And for those that are following the Miley story please be aware that salvia is ILLEGAL in CA for those under 21. I worked long and hard with Assemblyman Adams in CA to get this law passed. I took the time to fly to Sacramento to testify, to show Brett's pictures, to tell his life story of achievements, and to make sure everyone knew that, without any doubt at all, that salvia caused Brett's death.
Please remember Brett on this Christmas Day and keep him always in your loving prayers as we do. Peace to all and to my sweet angel up above.

Christmas Pics that Brett Loved

Canada Bans Salvia

About time! Maybe if they had regulated Salvia 5 years ago Brett would not have started experimenting with salvia that he purchased from Canada.

Also, Nevada legislators need to get listen to their constituents in their state. They have a serious Salvia problem there if I'm to believe the telephone call that Brett's dad received this past Thursday night. A concerned father of an 8th grade student called from Nevada inquiring how he could get "Brett's Law" passed in his state. According to the story he told there have been, over the last 2 weeks, 11 attempted suicides and 4 deaths related to salvia usage. If this is true my heart goes out to these parents. Losing a child for the most wrong of reasons is something they will never, ever get over. We can learn to accept death by illness or accident but death by a legal drug will haunt those of us who have lost our loved ones forever.

Brett Would be 22 Today

Brett would have been 22 today. His birthday was always full of much celebration and "shenanigans". Never a dull moment when Brett was around. His family and friends miss his incredible sense of humor, and none more than me. Love you Brett.

And to make a sad day even sadder this awful salvia related story just came in:

Teen high on salvia injured in fall over cliff
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
By Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
A 17-year-old boy who said he was high on drugs tumbled over a cliff in an O'Hara park this afternoon and suffered a head injury, a county dispatch supervisor said.

The boy called 911 at 3:35 p.m. to report he had fallen over a cliff at Meadow Park and told the call taker that he was on salvia, a potent hallucinogen that's legal in Pennsylvania.

He suffered a head laceration and was taken to Allegheny General Hospital.

New Minn. state law bans hallucinogenic drug

Another one for the books. I believe we're up to state number 23!! Brett is smiling today!