Today Brett has been gone from our lives for 4 years. It is still uncomprehensible to us all. His spirit still shines and we are often made aware that he is still with us, if only in that spiritual realm. The light and love that was Brett can somehow still be felt. He will never be gone from our lives, his memory lives on forever.
I know he would be proud of the progress I've made in having the drug that caused him to lose his life regulated across the nation. I am most proud of my work in California, and most recently Ocean City, MD. OC is the first town to go outside of state law and form their own law outlawing salvia. The council members there were very courageous as they weren't sure if what they were doing was actually legal, and whether it would end up being a complete waste of time. Fortunately they were correct in going forward, salvia is now banned in OC and I'll no longer be receiving phone calls from angry parents asking me what they can do to get it out of the boardwalk stores.
And, on this 4th anniversary of Brett's passing, I would like to address something that has bothered me for these four years. When Brett passed away I immediately joined a suicide support group. I had no experience of any kind with suicide or mental illness. There had been nothing like this in either side of the family so I was consumed with finding out how it could be possible. How could a boy who was at the pinnacle of happiness take his own life? I knew, beyond a doubt, it was his salvia use, but I still wanted to reach out to others who had experienced this and some how learn more. One thing that was drummed into me from day 1 that was you must be suffering from depression to commit suicide. I always had a problem with this because there were absolutely NO signs of depression in Brett. I knew this and all his friends confirmed it, including the love of his life, Lauren. Even so, I was told over and over again, he had to be depressed, no question about it. So, without much thought, I told everyone he had to be depressed, even though I had subsequently learned the signs of depression and he exhibited none of those. That one statement was to haunt me for all the years to come and has been reported all over the internet and in the media. So, I will come clean, and say with no hesitation now:
BRETT DID NOT SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION.
I know he would want people to know the truth, as I do. I left the support group fairly quickly afterwards as I soon realized Brett's case had absolutely zero in common with what these other unfortunate people had experienced. Two mothers who had lost their sons admitted to me that they first saw signs of mental illness and depression in their child as early as eight years old!! They fought for years to maintain a normal, healthy lifestyle. I had none of this. I can say with all honesty that Brett was the absolute best son ever, and his only shortcoming was being completely fearless and way too inquisitive. He had no fear of salvia and wasn't in least concerned of the long range effects. Those effects would cause his life.
Several months ago I received the article (see below) that put everything I knew and felt about what happened to Brett in perspective. I always knew on his last day he had to be experiencing complete and total psychosis after smoking salvia for the last time. This article confirms the severity of salvia and it's devastating, life altering effects. If only Brett had been able to read this, he may still be here today. RIP sweet, dear Brett.
PERSISTENT PSYCHOSIS ASSOCIATED WITH SALVIA DIVINORUM USE
TO THE EDITOR: We present a case in which salvia precipitated persistent psychosis.
“Mr. J” was a 21-year-old man with no family or personal
psychiatric history or laboratory abnormalities. He
was reported to have normal social interactions, behavior,
and cognitive skills. He was transferred to our psychiatric
unit for acute psychosis and paranoia, which occurred
shortly after smoking salvia. In transport, the patient became
suspicious and attempted to jump from the vehicle.
Upon presentation, he demonstrated echolalia, paranoia,
flight of ideas, and psychomotor agitation. The patient remained
agitated for the first 2 days of hospitalization. He
attempted to barricade himself in his room. Risperidone
(3 mg by mouth/three times per day) was administered,
and the patient was eventually stabilized. The dosage,
however, resulted in the parkisonian features of rigidity,
bradykinesia, and masked facies.
Mr. J was transferred to the chemical dependency unit
for further treatment. He was stabilized, and treatment
with risperidone was slowly tapered. During the taper
from risperidone, the patient continued to improve and
manifested better insight and logical thought processes.
He participated in group therapy and interacted with
peers, and the parkinsonian features subsided. One day
after risperidone was withdrawn, the patient’s symptoms
abruptly returned. He became agitated, paranoid, and aggressive
and believed he was able to project and receive
thoughts. He returned to the inpatient psychiatry unit
where risperidone (3 mg by mouth/twice daily) was reinstated.
He was once again stabilized and transferred to
the referring psychiatric facility for further treatment. At
the 4-month follow-up, the patient exhibited no perceptible
improvement.
To the best of our knowledge, this is the first reported case
of a persistent negative outcome from the use of salvia. We
suspect that our patient was genetically predisposed to
schizophrenia, and salvia precipitated the clinical manifestations.
This may relate to the drug’s ability to influence dopamine
levels in the brain and potentiate plastic changes in
frontal lobe networks (3).
Previous studies have cited salvia as a potential treatment
option for CNS illnesses (2). This is surprising, considering the
paucity of research regarding its efficacy. Salvia’s ability to increase
dopamine levels in the nucleus accumbens increases
its potential for dependence. Consistently, patients at our
clinic who have used the drug report that its psychological effects
are abrupt and frightening. Clinicians should be aware
that salvia use can be associated with psychiatric illness.
References
1. Prisinzano T: Psychopharmacology of the hallucinogenic sage
Salvia divinorum. Life Sci 2005; 78:527–531
2. Grudmann O, Phipps SM, Zadezensky I, Butterweck V: Salvia divinorum
and salvinorin A: an update on pharmacology and
analytical methodology. Planta Med 2007; 10:1039–1046
3. Braida D, Limonta V, Capurro V, Fadda P, Fadda P, Rubino T,
Mascia P, Zani A, Gori E, Fratta W, Parolaro D, Sala M: Involvement
of kappa-opioid and endocannabinoid system on salvia
A-induced reward. J Biol Psychiatry 2008; 3:286–292
PETER PRZEKOP, D.O., PH.D.
TIMOTHY LEE, M.D
Loma Linda, Calif.
The authors report no competing interests.
This letter
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Thursday, November 27, 2008
This Thanksgiving Day
Just as I was thinking of my sweet boy this morning, and wishing he were here for one of his favorite holidays, I get this email sent to me. It is wonderous how these things work, but then, as we all know, Brett was always a wonder. He could always amaze, amuse, and bring out major adoration in me. I adore him still. As the saying goes to those who knew him no explanation is necessary, and to those who didn't no explanation is possible. No words could possibly express the sheer sweetness and love that was Brett.
EVERLASTING THANKS(GIVINGS)
1.Thank you for giving me life, for making my favorite foods, for washing my clothes and doing your best to be sure I was safe. Although I no longer need you to do these things, the love behind the actions lighted my way to the other side.
2.Thank you for your prayers and the thoughts you send my way. They lift my spirit (literally) and propel me to the place where only love dwells.
3.Thank you for your anger at the ways I failed, disappointed or betrayed you. I'm closer to you than you think and have heard your words. They remind me that I didn't live up to who I could be and call me to be more kind, honest, loyal and loving from now on.
4.Thank you for forgiving me for all the ways I couldn't love you, others or myself. I may have left you with feelings of being abandoned. Your effort to heal yourself helps to heal entire family line including grandfathers and fathers who have gone before as well as the children and grandchildren who come after.
5.Thank you for calling in the angels. Or, if I left without sharing a few last moments with you, thank you for understanding that my body could no longer hold my spirit which was ready to fly.
6.Thank you for continuing to express my life. Celebrating my accomplishments with scholarships and foundations, telling stories about me (even if not all of them are true) reminds the world that my life had meaning.
7.Thank you for taking care of my stuff, especially if by leaving abruptly there were no instructions to follow. Thank you for tying up the loose ends left dangling when I moved into my new life.
8.Thank you for honoring our love bond - - by wearing the jewelry I've given you, by keeping my photos with or near you, but, most of all, by living your life to the fullest.
9.Thank you for laughing while remembering our good times together. Your laughter creates the music in heaven.
10.Thank you for celebrating birthdays, anniversaries and Thanksgivings and by remembering all the gifts of our life together.
May the thanks of those you love, touch you as you remember them this Thanksgiving.
EVERLASTING THANKS(GIVINGS)
1.Thank you for giving me life, for making my favorite foods, for washing my clothes and doing your best to be sure I was safe. Although I no longer need you to do these things, the love behind the actions lighted my way to the other side.
2.Thank you for your prayers and the thoughts you send my way. They lift my spirit (literally) and propel me to the place where only love dwells.
3.Thank you for your anger at the ways I failed, disappointed or betrayed you. I'm closer to you than you think and have heard your words. They remind me that I didn't live up to who I could be and call me to be more kind, honest, loyal and loving from now on.
4.Thank you for forgiving me for all the ways I couldn't love you, others or myself. I may have left you with feelings of being abandoned. Your effort to heal yourself helps to heal entire family line including grandfathers and fathers who have gone before as well as the children and grandchildren who come after.
5.Thank you for calling in the angels. Or, if I left without sharing a few last moments with you, thank you for understanding that my body could no longer hold my spirit which was ready to fly.
6.Thank you for continuing to express my life. Celebrating my accomplishments with scholarships and foundations, telling stories about me (even if not all of them are true) reminds the world that my life had meaning.
7.Thank you for taking care of my stuff, especially if by leaving abruptly there were no instructions to follow. Thank you for tying up the loose ends left dangling when I moved into my new life.
8.Thank you for honoring our love bond - - by wearing the jewelry I've given you, by keeping my photos with or near you, but, most of all, by living your life to the fullest.
9.Thank you for laughing while remembering our good times together. Your laughter creates the music in heaven.
10.Thank you for celebrating birthdays, anniversaries and Thanksgivings and by remembering all the gifts of our life together.
May the thanks of those you love, touch you as you remember them this Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Another beautiful, but sad, quote forwarded to me:
"As God's children, we live on promises, not explanations. When we arrive in heaven, we will hear the explanations, accept them, and say, 'May the Lord be glorified." (Warren Wiersbe).
We, as Brett's family and friends, live every day of the promise of being with Brett again and knowing the true story behind his death. We feel we have the real explanation, due to all that we have learned of this terrible drug. We have accepted this explanation as best we can. I have a deep conviction within my heart that tells me to just believe, not to question what I feel, 100% to be true. When I question what I feel, somewhere, somehow, something will come along to put me in my place, to stop questioning and to just simply BELIEVE my heart. Yesterday I received this:
Pharmacologist and substance misuse researcher Fabrizio Schifano of St George's Medical School in London says that the main problem with psychoactive substances - and hallucinogens like salvia in particular - is that they may incite PSYCHOSIS. "How do you know if someone will have a sensitivity to the drug?" he says. "I am really worried by the prevalence of these drugs, and the fact that most users get their information from the internet. It is not peer-reviewed research, just people's opinions, and that is very dangerous."
Tim Kendall, deputy director of the Royal College of Psychiatrists research unit, says: "When you take salvia you are playing with fire. People can be very damaged in terms of their personal functioning. They frequently have flashbacks that intrude into their life, which can be almost like a post-traumatic stress problem after very bad experiences."
It's still unclear why salvia produces hallucinations. "Some of the experiences people have on salvia may be similar to the psychosis that occurs in late-stage Alzheimer's," says Roth. "There is an increase in the number of kappa receptors in the brains of people with late-stage Alzheimer's."
So, again, validation of what we believe wholeheartedly, Brett suffered severe psychosis within a matter of hours. This psychosis ended with his death. Terrible tragedy....those words don't even begin to describe his loss. There are no words.
"As God's children, we live on promises, not explanations. When we arrive in heaven, we will hear the explanations, accept them, and say, 'May the Lord be glorified." (Warren Wiersbe).
We, as Brett's family and friends, live every day of the promise of being with Brett again and knowing the true story behind his death. We feel we have the real explanation, due to all that we have learned of this terrible drug. We have accepted this explanation as best we can. I have a deep conviction within my heart that tells me to just believe, not to question what I feel, 100% to be true. When I question what I feel, somewhere, somehow, something will come along to put me in my place, to stop questioning and to just simply BELIEVE my heart. Yesterday I received this:
Pharmacologist and substance misuse researcher Fabrizio Schifano of St George's Medical School in London says that the main problem with psychoactive substances - and hallucinogens like salvia in particular - is that they may incite PSYCHOSIS. "How do you know if someone will have a sensitivity to the drug?" he says. "I am really worried by the prevalence of these drugs, and the fact that most users get their information from the internet. It is not peer-reviewed research, just people's opinions, and that is very dangerous."
Tim Kendall, deputy director of the Royal College of Psychiatrists research unit, says: "When you take salvia you are playing with fire. People can be very damaged in terms of their personal functioning. They frequently have flashbacks that intrude into their life, which can be almost like a post-traumatic stress problem after very bad experiences."
It's still unclear why salvia produces hallucinations. "Some of the experiences people have on salvia may be similar to the psychosis that occurs in late-stage Alzheimer's," says Roth. "There is an increase in the number of kappa receptors in the brains of people with late-stage Alzheimer's."
So, again, validation of what we believe wholeheartedly, Brett suffered severe psychosis within a matter of hours. This psychosis ended with his death. Terrible tragedy....those words don't even begin to describe his loss. There are no words.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
09/09/88 - That's Brett's B'day
Yikes, I wrote in my blog today and said today was Brett's birthday. Of course you know I meant yesterday!!! Could you see the internet meanies getting a hold of that!?!? I'd become the mom who didn't even remember her kid's birthday!
I'm remembering all the wonderful birthdays past, so excuse me while I reminiesce on happier times. If Brett were here we'd talk about all those awesome b'days past like:
-The birthday where I made you the giant racetrack cake and put only 4 cars on the track and 15 kids absolutely, positively had to have the piece with a car!! That cake was certainly incredible, if I do say so myself. Must post a picture of it.
-The birthday where we got out the pogo stick and the kids were amazed that you had a mom who could pogo stick longer than any of them.
-The Chuck E. Cheese parties were we could never get any of the kids back to the table to eat. Alexis freaking out when Chuck E. came to the table!
-The clown who refused to leave you alone at Chi-Chi's. You were ready to get up and walk out. I love the picture I have of you giving him the "stink eye".
-The place with the rubber ball pit where you were convinced "some kid pee'd in there!"
-Your rollerskating, paintballing, McDonald's, bowling parties. Did I miss one?
-The party where every kid "had to bring" his sister/brother/cousin and we ended up with 30 kids running roughshod over the house and yard. That one was the best! You LOVED the presents.
-Your last birthday where I promised you your second trip to England to visit your relatives. I did deliver and that was our last trip together. What number trip did that make, I'm guessing between 55-60? You were one well traveled guy, that's for sure. You were my best travel partner ever, and no trip will ever be the same now you're gone.
I look back fondly on all the wonderful b'day parties I was able to give Brett. They were the best of times and Brett never met a b'day party he didn't love.
-
I'm remembering all the wonderful birthdays past, so excuse me while I reminiesce on happier times. If Brett were here we'd talk about all those awesome b'days past like:
-The birthday where I made you the giant racetrack cake and put only 4 cars on the track and 15 kids absolutely, positively had to have the piece with a car!! That cake was certainly incredible, if I do say so myself. Must post a picture of it.
-The birthday where we got out the pogo stick and the kids were amazed that you had a mom who could pogo stick longer than any of them.
-The Chuck E. Cheese parties were we could never get any of the kids back to the table to eat. Alexis freaking out when Chuck E. came to the table!
-The clown who refused to leave you alone at Chi-Chi's. You were ready to get up and walk out. I love the picture I have of you giving him the "stink eye".
-The place with the rubber ball pit where you were convinced "some kid pee'd in there!"
-Your rollerskating, paintballing, McDonald's, bowling parties. Did I miss one?
-The party where every kid "had to bring" his sister/brother/cousin and we ended up with 30 kids running roughshod over the house and yard. That one was the best! You LOVED the presents.
-Your last birthday where I promised you your second trip to England to visit your relatives. I did deliver and that was our last trip together. What number trip did that make, I'm guessing between 55-60? You were one well traveled guy, that's for sure. You were my best travel partner ever, and no trip will ever be the same now you're gone.
I look back fondly on all the wonderful b'day parties I was able to give Brett. They were the best of times and Brett never met a b'day party he didn't love.
-
Brett's 20th Birthday
Today would have been Brett's 20th birthday. All I could think was how much I would have loved to have seen what he would have looked like at 20. He was so handsome at 17 I can't imagine what 20 would have brought. The whole family visited the grave and put flowers and almost balloons. The balloons somehow escaped out the car window thru a 2 inch opening in the window! No one could figure that one out but everybody said the same thing "That's Brett doing that! That is SO him, laughing his tail off at his balloons taking off even before we got to the cemetary." It was so bittersweet and made me realize, as I do every single day, how much we all miss Brett's off the charts sense of humor. Why can't anyone else be at funny as he was???
And, again, I am forced to defend him in the press. A huge story on Salvia appeared in the NY Times yesterday. I actually spoke to the reporter who wrote the story and provided him with much insight before the actual publication. He got everything right except for the fact, which I thought I had impressed upon him, that when Brett's Law was written Dennis and I specifically asked for a clause to be added allowing for scientific research to be allowed with salvia, especially if there's the slightest chance it could help some disease or disability. Senator Peterson called me yesterday and we discussed this and she said people are so unaware, that even if we hadn't included that clause specifically, laws already on the books allow any drug to be used for research. You DON'T even need to add that stipulation. Wonder why people can't get that? It's really not that hard of a concept to grasp. Of course the salvia users are the ones posting the emails full of outrage about scientific research being stymied. Get real, folks, we are on to you and know that you're not interested in the slightest about helping others, you're too busy getting wasted.
I love the quote someone sent me the other day:
"Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth.
Ephesians 6:14 NLT
The belt of truth
"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free," says Jesus (John 8:32). But what will the truth set us free from?
First of all, it sets us free from the snares of deception. When people know the truth, they can't be taken in by a lie. You can't convince people to believe in something that they know in their hearts and minds is false.
The truth will also set you free from guilt and shame. When you've held tightly to the truth, you don't have to worry about a lie coming back to haunt you. You don't spend your nights lying awake wondering what words of deception might trap and ensnare you. You are free to live with a clean conscience and an innocent heart."
I had just said to someone the other day "I'm so glad that from Day 1 I told the truth about Brett, the months leading up to his death, the things we found about Salvia, etc. I really believe if you tell the truth you NEVER have to remember what you said." If you check out ALL the many, many, many news reports and articles I've done you will see the details never change. I never have to think about what I said before. It's so easy when you're truthful. So, I guess without knowing it I have put on "the sturdy belt of truth." Brett would love that.
And, again, I am forced to defend him in the press. A huge story on Salvia appeared in the NY Times yesterday. I actually spoke to the reporter who wrote the story and provided him with much insight before the actual publication. He got everything right except for the fact, which I thought I had impressed upon him, that when Brett's Law was written Dennis and I specifically asked for a clause to be added allowing for scientific research to be allowed with salvia, especially if there's the slightest chance it could help some disease or disability. Senator Peterson called me yesterday and we discussed this and she said people are so unaware, that even if we hadn't included that clause specifically, laws already on the books allow any drug to be used for research. You DON'T even need to add that stipulation. Wonder why people can't get that? It's really not that hard of a concept to grasp. Of course the salvia users are the ones posting the emails full of outrage about scientific research being stymied. Get real, folks, we are on to you and know that you're not interested in the slightest about helping others, you're too busy getting wasted.
I love the quote someone sent me the other day:
"Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth.
Ephesians 6:14 NLT
The belt of truth
"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free," says Jesus (John 8:32). But what will the truth set us free from?
First of all, it sets us free from the snares of deception. When people know the truth, they can't be taken in by a lie. You can't convince people to believe in something that they know in their hearts and minds is false.
The truth will also set you free from guilt and shame. When you've held tightly to the truth, you don't have to worry about a lie coming back to haunt you. You don't spend your nights lying awake wondering what words of deception might trap and ensnare you. You are free to live with a clean conscience and an innocent heart."
I had just said to someone the other day "I'm so glad that from Day 1 I told the truth about Brett, the months leading up to his death, the things we found about Salvia, etc. I really believe if you tell the truth you NEVER have to remember what you said." If you check out ALL the many, many, many news reports and articles I've done you will see the details never change. I never have to think about what I said before. It's so easy when you're truthful. So, I guess without knowing it I have put on "the sturdy belt of truth." Brett would love that.
Friday, July 18, 2008
RIP Officer Gary Gryder
One of my friends forwarded this very sad, sad news article to me
Houston cop killer gets mental evaluation
Officer Down: Officer Gary Gryder
By Brian Rogers
The Houston Chronicle
HOUSTON — A man accused of killing one Houston police officer and injuring another in a car wreck will be drug tested and evaluated by mental health professionals to investigate his behavior in the minutes after the incident.
Hung Dasian Truong, 24, will be held for a 21-day mental evaluation, a judge ruled Tuesday. Initial alcohol and drug tests got negative results, but investigators are awaiting the results of a second, more detailed round of blood tests to determine whether Truong was impaired at the time of the incident early Sunday morning.
Truong was taken into custody while laughing uncontrollably and refusing to answer questions, Harris County Assistant District Attorney Denise Bradley said.
According to court records, investigators suspect that Truong may have been under the influence of salvia divinorum.
Salvia is an herb-based hallucinogen used spiritually by Mazatec Indians from the Oaxaca area, and increasingly popular among teens and college-age students, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse.
In state District Judge Caprice Cosper's court, Bradley recounted the
Houston cop killer gets mental evaluation
Officer Down: Officer Gary Gryder
By Brian Rogers
The Houston Chronicle
HOUSTON — A man accused of killing one Houston police officer and injuring another in a car wreck will be drug tested and evaluated by mental health professionals to investigate his behavior in the minutes after the incident.
Hung Dasian Truong, 24, will be held for a 21-day mental evaluation, a judge ruled Tuesday. Initial alcohol and drug tests got negative results, but investigators are awaiting the results of a second, more detailed round of blood tests to determine whether Truong was impaired at the time of the incident early Sunday morning.
Truong was taken into custody while laughing uncontrollably and refusing to answer questions, Harris County Assistant District Attorney Denise Bradley said.
According to court records, investigators suspect that Truong may have been under the influence of salvia divinorum.
Salvia is an herb-based hallucinogen used spiritually by Mazatec Indians from the Oaxaca area, and increasingly popular among teens and college-age students, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse.
In state District Judge Caprice Cosper's court, Bradley recounted the
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Remember this....
It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.
Moliere
I first heard this quote immediately after Brett's death and it made me realize that we had no choice but to go forward with our campaign against Salvia Divinorum. If we did not do anything what kind of parents would we be? What would our son think if he were here and we did not take up the cause against the thing that took his life? I could not face Brett today if I did not do that which I was accountable for... making his death stand for something. Brett did not die in vain, he led us to discovery of something most of us would never know.
Also, this quote makes me think of Brett and all the volunteer work he did. That has become the main focus of my life since his passing. Before his death he was my main focus, with service and volunteer work being a close second. Today, without his being here, it has become my number one goal. To serve others is to gain peace for myself. Yesterday I wheeled patients around for 3 hours and today I wrote a letter asking for a grant for a woman who has no money to buy the most simple things in life, bread, milk,... What are you accountable for today?
Moliere
I first heard this quote immediately after Brett's death and it made me realize that we had no choice but to go forward with our campaign against Salvia Divinorum. If we did not do anything what kind of parents would we be? What would our son think if he were here and we did not take up the cause against the thing that took his life? I could not face Brett today if I did not do that which I was accountable for... making his death stand for something. Brett did not die in vain, he led us to discovery of something most of us would never know.
Also, this quote makes me think of Brett and all the volunteer work he did. That has become the main focus of my life since his passing. Before his death he was my main focus, with service and volunteer work being a close second. Today, without his being here, it has become my number one goal. To serve others is to gain peace for myself. Yesterday I wheeled patients around for 3 hours and today I wrote a letter asking for a grant for a woman who has no money to buy the most simple things in life, bread, milk,... What are you accountable for today?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
