Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Brett's 26th B'day

Wishing Brett a happy b'day up in heaven.  Hope he's having the same kind of awesome birthdays he had here on earth!! No kid loved a big old birthday party more than Brett! Never a year passed where I didn't put together some bowling, Chucky Cheeser, scavenger hunt, piƱata laden party for him. The most difficult part was "uninviting" the dozen of friends he would invite each year!! There wasn't a kid in his school who didn't love Brett and want to be at his parties. (It also didn't hurt that his mom was an award winning baker, know for ever increasingly tough birthday cakes per his request!!)
Enjoy this little pic of one of his favorite parties with his favorite person in the world, his "pretend sister", cousin Alexis. Love you guys both so much.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sorry for the typos - Who changed Blogger? It's the worst!!

8th Angel Anniversary

Today Brett is 8 years an angel. I find that statement a little strange as I write it because I deeply felt that Brett was pretty much an angel the entire time I knew him. He light up my life, made me a better person, shared his love of life with everyone, did good works, cared for the poor and the ill, search for the good in all things...isn't that the definition of an angel? I think so. I know no better description of what an angel is than that description of Brett. He had all the best traits that you could ever ask for in a person. As I've said before he was what I would have liked to be when I grew up, good looking, smart and popular and with a heart as big as the universe.

In these 8 years I have grown to acknowledge and accept that Brett was not mine to keep. He was here for a reason much bigger than my needs. His reason for being was fulfilled and that was to save others from the danger of salvia. He had to leave in a most unexpected way but that was part of the heavenly plan. Mine is not to question why. I have great comfort in knowing that I packed his short life with what would be a whole lifetime of experiences. I don't know many teens who have been all over the world, hosteling all over the country, drove a 66 Mustang (if only for a short time!! I wasn't brave enough to give him my baby entirely!), played a vintage guitar and drum set, wore the coolest clothes, and just totally experienced every new moment as if it were his last. Brett knew how to live! I'm just so happy that I was here for the ride. My amazing boy, the best son ever, I miss you every single moment of the day.

Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince;


And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. ”



Monday, September 9, 2013

Today Would Have Been Brett's 25th Birthday

If only he were here to celebrate...

It seems as if each year something wonderful happens around Brett's birthday. This year I had a chance encounter with one of Brett's best friends who I haven't seen since his funeral. I will never forget what he told me when we ran into each other. He said "I can tell you, 150%, that Brett made me the man I am today. I am such a better person for having known him and being able to be a part of his life. There will never be another Brett." How lucky Brett was to have such wonderful friends.

And another milestone on the war against salvia - this week Texas outlawed salvia.  A long time coming and hopefully my communications with state legislators there made a difference. As Brett looks down on us on his 25th b'day he knows that I'll never give up this fight. One day salvia will be regulated nationwide. I have all the time in the world to make it so. I wish Brett did as well.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Brett's 7th Angel Anniversary

Seven years ago today Brett became an angel. Not the earthly angel that we knew him to be but a heavenly one meant to watch over and protect us.
I really felt his presence yesterday as I visited his school, then Gibraltar, his favorite place to volunteer, and fhen finally his gravesite. It was a difficult day but a necessary part of telling his story for a new expose on salvia. This is one that I feel  has a lot of potential to shed more light on this insidious drug. I never cease to be amazed that all these years later this drug is still legal.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Salvia and "Depersonalization"

I just saw this quote from a salvia user and it made me think this is what Brett must have gone thru, unbeknowst to all of us. This has to be one of the scariest as well as saddest things I've ever read when it comes to salvia. Why would you use something that sends you to the brink of insanity, with no clear proof that you'll ever make it back alive? Kids, as Brett did, think they're invincible, untouchable and nothing evil can happen to them. If this were only true.

"There is a thread in the Salvia Divinorum section which discusses many accounts and explanations of users who have experienced long-lasting depersonalization/derealization after the use of Salvia. I have been going through these feelings for the past few weeks now, believing that I am well on my way into schizophrenic insanity. "

I just keep coming back to the same question - WHY is this drug legal when people write that it makes them feel like this? Is no one caring, watching, reading what our young people are writing?

Monday, January 23, 2012

Brett's 6th Angel Anniversary

Today mark 6 years since Brett became an angel, leaving us here to wish we had more time with him. I will be eternally grateful for the 17 wonderful years I was able to spend with him. I guess I should say 16.5 years were wonderful and the months that he got hooked on salvia, those were not so wonderful. Even at his worst he was still so funny, smart and oh-so-hard not to love. His girlfriend told me just last week that he was the most caring, kind and loving boyfriend she ever had, still, 6 years later. I wish the best for Lauren and hope that someday she can meet someone exactly like Brett. We know that's not possible but there has to be someone for her that come close to Brett's goodness and kindness. He would want that for her. As she reminded me (not that she needed to) he watches over us still and keeps up safe, every single day. As much as I want for him to be here with us I gain strength knowing he's my family's guardian angel, looking out for us every moment. Sweet angel Brett, peace and love to you this day and always.